Bonding With Your Baby: How Does It Happen?

When Mary Sadlier was pregnant with her daughter, Caitlyn, her husband, Stephen Rosa, regularly read entire books to the baby including the classic, "Green Eggs and Ham" Right after Caitlyn was born by Cesarean section, Rosa went over to the baby and started reciting lines from the book. Though he may not have realized it, Rosa was already bonding with his newborn child, beginning a lifelong process that experts say will have amazing benefits for them both.

Benefits of Bonding

For most parents, bonding with their baby is not something they do consciously. It's in the tone of their voice, the gentle stroke on the skin and the soft melody they hum. But aware or not, bonding is one of the most important things parents can do for their children.

According to Roni Leiderman, executive director and associate dean of the Family Center at Nova Southeastern University in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., babies are born with billions of brain cells that are not yet connected or networked.

"Connection occurs according to the experiences you provide your child," she says. By repeating quality experiences like reading or singing, parents can help these events become a permanent part of their newborn's brain, allowing them to develop both mental and emotional intelligence.

Leiderman says that EQ, or emotional intelligence, is just as important as IQ, as EQ helps children develop empathy, trust, self-esteem and relationship skills.

Bonding not only benefits the baby, but also helps the mom and dad. Making that special connection with their baby helps parents regulate their emotions, learn and respond better to the baby's cues and get through the difficulties of being new parents. "Bonding is that wonderful connection that happens between parent and child, that wonderful dance that Mother and Father and Baby develop with each other," says Leiderman. "Bonding sets the stage for future interaction between the parents and the baby and for that wonderful unconditional love that develops." Timing it Right Many new moms, however, may not feel like bonding right away and nurse practitioner Sandra Samberg of New York City says that's normal. "Some bond immediately after birth and with others it definitely takes time," she says. "Don't feel guilty. It's okay, because your hormones are all over the place after birth." But if the feeling lasts for a significant period of time, cautions Leiderman, parents should seek help.

Breast Feeding Your Preemie

Usually babies born prior to 31 or 32 weeks gestation cannot breastfeed until they are deemed stable. However, breast milk can still be given to the infant through a feeding tube that goes through the nose or mouth to the stomach.

In order to establish a milk supply, start pumping your breasts within six hours of delivery. Then, pump every three to four hours for 15 to 20 minutes to continue stimulation and mimic a full-term baby's feeding schedule. Kolder recommends using a hospital grade, double electric breast pump with a cycling of 60 to 70 times per minute and a suction strength of 215 to 225 to maximize efficiency.

"A lot of pumps at the local stores have a cycling of 18 to 20 times per minute and suction strength of 20 to 30," she says. "And the strength of a battery-operated pump is dependent on how good the batteries are."

Collect and freeze every drop of milk expressed. "In the beginning a woman produces colostrum, which is like gold," Buerger says. "Pumping empowers the mom because even if she can't have her baby at home and take care of it, this is the one thing only she can provide that is vital to her baby." As soon as the baby is stable, Mom can attempt breastfeeding. "At 32 weeks they may not feed for nutrition, but it is very rewarding for the mom and something she can look forward to," Kolder says.

Benefits: The Breastfeeding/Breastmilk Advantage

According to a report put out by the American Academy of Pediatrics, extensive research documents the advantages of breastfeeding, including health, nutritional, immunologic, developmental, psychological, social, economic and environmental benefits. Additional research concludes that breast milk significantly decreases risk for a variety of acute and chronic diseases.